Not that anyone reads this but I've been blogging at MySpace and at our family site lately instead of here. I'll have to see how much upload space I have here though. I may switch back.

http://www.myspace.com/jessica_hodges
http://mysite.verizon.net/vzenwl5o/hodgesfamilysite

I guess life has slowed down somewhat since the wedding. We have some pictures posted on the band's website.

Things probably seem a little slower mostly because I'm not currently working. I've been volunteering at Lindale Middle School with a student who doesn't speak English. I translate pre-algebra word problems for him and help him through class. I may have a tutoring opportunity coming up as well so that will add to my schedule a bit.

We've had some more Life Group drama this week. I'm once again getting to the point where I'm not sure it's worth the hassle. I mean, let's face it, I've never formed a lasting relationship with anyone in Life Group that I wasn't already friends with. It seems so contrived to me. I have my support system. I have my friends. I'm tired of being forced together with people in a group that I otherwise wouldn't spend time with because we have absolutely nothing in common. Maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe I should be more concerned with discipling new Christians than what I'm getting out of group. Then again, I think that we should be concentrating on getting through our first year of marriage and learning how to make that work, before we can really reach out to other people. Maybe I need a break again. Seems that way with everything lately. Just not that easy now that there are two people involved in the decision.

Other than that, it's just the same old stuff. I always think I'll have so much to write about because I haven't written in so long and then I realize that there's really nothing new to say.

I don't even know where to start. I guess it would be easier in a way if I just updated on a somewhat regular basis. Then I wouldn't have to recap the last four months. Problem is that things have been so busy that updating regularly hasn't really been possible.

The wedding is closing in quick. I almost feel ready. A few more things to work out and we'll be good to go. Minor/major problem with my dress, but hopefully that will be worked out soon. I'm not in full panic mode yet. Got an RSVP back today from Chris' grandparents. He was right, they're not coming. I just don't understand that. It kind of pisses me off. There's really no good reason why they can't. They're both in good health and if money were a problem, which I don't think it is, we could find a way to get them here. I guess it makes me mad too because we made it a point to head out to Oregon for his grandfather's birthday party this year and now they can't seem to be bothered to come to our wedding.

In other news, we bought a house. Just had the hardwood floors refinished and a new furnace put in. We'll start moving some things over now that the major stuff is done so that we don't have to do it all at once when we get back from our honeymoon.

I guess that's the major stuff that's been going on. Just crazy busy with planning and being new home owners. I wonder if things will slow down at all after the wedding.

I'm so tired of wedding planning. And we haven't even planned all that much. I hate that everything is revolving around the money that we don't have. It's not necessarily that we don't have any money, but we certainly don't have enough to have the wedding we want, the honeymoon we want, and put a down payment on a house. We really just have to trust God to guide us in our decisions and show us where we can make cuts. I'm tired and my brain hurts.

Well, I haven't written in forever it seems like. Here I am in Mexico again. One week down and two to go. Usually 80 degrees and sunny today was a freak 50 and raining. So strange. Otherwise we've had a great trip besides me missing Hodges. I'm certainly not in a hurry to get back to work.

I'm becoming increasingly convinced that I'm still at my current place of employment for the simple reason that I haven't matured enough to move on and be trusted with something bigger. If I can't learn to deal with some of the unpleasant people I work with, and more importantly keep from being unpleasant myself, how do I ever expect to make it anywhere? If Joseph was faithful when he was sold into slavery and then thrown into prison, knowing all along that he was destined for greatness, I certainly have no reason to complain about my situation. So I'm stopping. I'm sucking it up and being faithful in the little that I have and doing it cheerfully.....ok, so far I'm doing it gritting my teeth, but cheerfully is the goal.

I'm really getting on my nerves lately. Here I am complaining about gossips and immature people who think they know it all and want to preach all the time, when I'm doing that exact thing in response. I should know this by now. The things that bug me most about other people are the things I see in myself that I don't like. Even as things are spilling out of my mouth I cringe at my hypocrisy. I really need to learn to be more patient with people. I could blame it on the stress I've been under lately but that would be a cop-out. I guess I just need to have someone smack me around when they hear me launch into a rant about other people if I don't have the good sense to stop myself first. Maybe that way I'd learn.